Your not a monster
by Sister Blood
Summary: Post episode 13, Lucy goes back home, but she is injured and passes out at the doorstep. What will Kouta do, and what does Yuka think of Lucy's return. Not still a ONESHOT
1. The Return

Kouta looked back to the gate and saw a shadowy out line on the girl he once knew a Nyuu

Kouta looked back to the gate and saw a shadowy out line on the girl he once knew as Nyuu. He took a few steps closer and the shadow collapsed. Kouta ran to the gate and through it open to see that it was indeed Nyuu lying at his doorstep unconscious.

Kouta quickly picked her up to carry her in the house; when he noticed her horns were now nothing but holes in her head leaking blood. She also had three-bullet holes, one in her side and the other two in her legs. Kouta rushed her into the house and into his bed, then ran to Yuka telling her to get the bandages.

"Kouta what happened? I don't under stand." Yuka asked in confusion. Just a minute ago he was all fine and now he's worried about something. Before Yuka could ask Kouta about what happened he ran back to his room leaving his lunch on the table to get cold.

"What is with him all the sudden? … If he thinks I'm going to warm this up for him he's got another thing coming."

Yuka then went for the first aid kit while Mayu and Nana both as confused as Yuka ran back to Kouta's room to see what all the fuss was about. When Yuka reached Kouta's room she looked around to see what happened and her eyes found Nyuu on his bed. Yuka's jaw dropped and she was left speechless.

"How did Luc… I mean Nyuu get here?" Nana asked.

"I don't know but she is injured, and we must do all we can until she gets better." Kouta informed.

All Yuka could do was watch as Kouta applied the first aid to Nyuu's head. He worked so lovingly and tenderly. Would he ever act this way toward me if I got hurt? Would he even worry about me if I were gone? "Kouta I'm going out for more … umm… things."

"Ok fine see you later."

He didn't even ask where I was going or how long I'll be out. He doesn't care about me. All he cares about is Nyuu. Fine I'll make him worry about me. Yuka thought as she walked out the door.

Over the next few hours Nyuu would regain consciousness only for a few moments before she would return in to the blackness of her sleep. Kouta never left her side; he stayed there holding her hand watching her, waiting for her to wake up.

"Nana… what is the matter?" Mayu asked.

Nana only stared at Kouta's room before Mayu's words reached her. "Oh… it is nothing." Nana tried to lie but did a horrible job of it.

Mayu wasn't convinced so she pressed further. "Come on Nana what's the matter?"

"Well… It's just … that… that's not Nyuu, it's Lucy."

"What do you mean?"

"Ever so often I feel Lucy not Nyuu."

"Nana we should tell Kouta." Nana nodded her head in agreement.

The two girls ran in Kouta's room to find Lucy still asleep.

"What going on you two?" Kouta asked.

"Kouta Nana thinks that, that is not Nyuu." Mayu said pointing down at the sleeping Lucy.

"Nana what do you mean?" Kouta asked

"Well… it's just that I don't feel Nyuu when she awakes up." Nana explained, "It's Lucy who's in there now. I just though you should know" Nana and Mayu then left to see what was for dinner.

Kouta didn't care if it was Lucy or Nyuu. He loved both of them; suddenly Nana rush back in the room. " Hey Kouta, Yuka hasn't come back yet. Do you want me and Mayu to make dinner?"

"That would be very nice Nana thank you."

"Do you want me to make a plate for Lucy too?"

"Yah… She might wake up and be hungry."

Nana then rushed down stairs to help Mayu. An hour later Mayu called to Kouta saying dinner was ready. Kouta, for the first time since Lucy's return left his room. Nana and Mayu had went all out and made a meal big enough to feed a small army, or just Nana.

While Kouta was eating Lucy woke up to feel that she was on something soft. After further inspection she then knew where she was. She tried to get up but was too weak.

"What I'm I doing here? I should be dead, not lying in Kouta's room." Lucy then thought about it and remembered her other personality, they called Nyuu, took her back to Kouta's house. "No I shouldn't be here, I've caused Kouta so much pain, and if I stay here I'll only cause more." Lucy said to her self.

Nana was in the middle of her fifth bowl of stew when she felt Lucy. She froze, and everyone watched her.

"Nana what is it?" Kouta asked.

"Its Lucy… She's awake." With those words Kouta erupted from the table and ran to his room to find Lucy trying to get to her feet.

"What are you doing? You shouldn't be up get. Get back in bed."

Lucy's legs couldn't yet hold her wait and she fell back onto Kouta's bed.

"See I told you." Kouta said while putting the cover back over her. "You need to rest now. If you are hungry I'll bring you something."

"Kouta… I'm sorry … I didn't mean to…" Lucy said weakly but was cut off by Kouta.

"Hey no need to talk about that right now. You just rest." Lucy did as she was told and closed her eyes again.

Yuka walked the streets lost in thought. Have I been gone long enough for Kouta to be worried about me? No… I'll get a hotel and come back tomorrow. I'll make Kouta worry even more.

Kouta on the other hand didn't think of Yuka at all but was back holding Lucy's hand sleeping on the floor next to her. The next morning Kouta inspected her wounds and saw they all weren't bleeding any more but they still had a long way before they were 100.

Lucy woke up and watched Kouta taking care of her. She watched as Kouta changed her bandages it brought tears to hers eyes. "Kouta… why are you doing this?" Lucy weakly asked.

Kouta was cough off guard by this question. "What do you mean?"

"Why are taking care of me when I don't deserve it?"

"Don't talk like that. You have the right to live as much as anyone."

"No… I don't. Kouta I killed your family, I killed so many others. I'm a monster, I don't deserve your love or sympathy."

"Hey you are not a monster. The people that tried to kill, they are the real monsters. I only see you as that lonely little girl who I loved as a kid."

These words made the tears in Lucy's eyes start to run down her cheeks.

"Oh Kouta your blind, not even that best soup in the world could wash the scum from my hands. I am forever stained."

"The first step is to forgive yourself. After you can do that you wont think yourself subhuman. You will see that you are a beautiful, wonderful person."

"And if I cant do that?" Lucy asked, the tears now flooding her face.

"You may not be able to not now, but one day you will."

"Kouta… You make it sound so easy, but a monster like me doesn't deserve you."

"Don't talk like that. All your thinking about is you, what about me? What if I want you?"

Kouta's question took her by surprise.

Yuka walked back to the house. " This should have been plenty enough time for Kouta to worry about me." Yuka said to herself.

"I hate listening to you talk about yourself like your nothing."

"But… Kouta."

Yuka walked to Kouta's room. "I'll surprise him and he'll show the love he showed for Nyuu." Yuka thought to herself.

"Listen I love you… More that anything…and I don't want you to ever leave."

Lucy felt the heat of his body, as his face appeared only inches from hers.

Yuka then opened the door to see Kouta and Lucy kissing. Kouta didn't even look up to see who it was. His only interest was her.

Yuka then walked back to her room with her head down. "How could he have chosen her? Instead of me?" Yuka sat hugging herself as she cried. "He didn't even notice I was gone. I was a fool to think he loved me." She said to herself.

If Kouta wanted her, she would give him everything she had. She owned him so much more than that, but her love was all he wanted. Lucy closed her eyes and hugged Kouta with both her arms and all four vectors; he then returned the embrace.

Lucy then pulled away from their kiss and said, "Kouta… if all you want is me... then I'm all yours." Then Lucy kissed him back and held him for what seemed like an eternity.


	2. Love is only the begaining

Lucy fought her way to the gate of the Maple Inn. She was badly injured with two gashing holes in the side of her head where her horns use to be, she also had a gunshot wound to her right arm. When she reached the Inn Kouta was the one to answer the door. Lucy stood there dazed, but when she recognized it was him she gave him a quick smile before all her strength left her, and she came crashing down into his arms. She awoke about a week later while Kouta was changing the bandages on her head and arm. All she wanted was to see Kouta once more before she died, but it seems fait granted her a second chance. Kouta never left her side until she was well, they would sit there talking night after night. Lucy once brought up how she was sorry for what she did to his family, and how she didn't deserve his kindness. He then told her she was family, and thats was families do, forgive each other. That night Lucy made a silent vow to herself, she would be forever indebted to Kouta, and she would never cause him sadness ever again.

A two months later...

Lucy would be found moping in her room the majority of the time, but the rare occurrences where she left the haven of her room she would be glued to Kouta's side. She still felt unaccented by the other member of the house. She felt Yuka didn't like her because she stole Kouta from her, she thought Mayu was petrified of her after learning of her past, and lastly she thought Nana still had a grudge against her, which she wouldn't blame her if she did. Along with her problems externally she had internal complications too. With her horns missing her vectors strength diminished almost compleatly; she could only use her vectors as regular arms instead of killing machines, and she ability to sense other diclonius left her as well. Except for the four extra arms Lucy felt almost normal, and this felling of normalcy brought her almost as much joy as being with Kouta.

Kouta was heading up to Lucy's room so they could go to town, and eat. Kouta knocked at the door, but didn't really expect a answer, she didn't really answer when people knocked on her door. She knew if it was Kouta he would come in, and if it was anyone else they would just yell what they needed to say through the door at her. After a few moments Kouta opened the door saying, "Hey it is me. I'm coming in." To Kouta's surprise Lucy had apparently just got out of the bath, she was dressed in nothing but damp skin, and a very small towel. The towel was so short in fact that it barley covered up what it needed to, not leaving much for the imagination. Kouta's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets as he saw Lucy's perfect body, and he then wore a fresh shade of red plastered across his face. He quickly covered his eyes with his forearm and started apologizing profusely. "Oh my god I'm sorry. I didn't mean... I didn't see..."

Lucy rolled her eyes, she didn't care if Kouta saw her, but the way he acted now brought a smile to her lips. He was cute when he was embarrassed. The smile grew as he stood there nervously and said, "W...we are going to town... S...so get d...dressed." Kouta then exited the room, and then released a huge breath of relief. "I can't believe she didn't say something when I was knocking." Kouta said to himself. As soon as Kouta left her room Lucy started to giggle, and quickly got dressed. Kouta heard her laughing and walked down stairs to wait for her. "At lest she wasn't mad about it." Kouta told himself.

Yuka spent a lot of time at her father's house now, because he fell ill, and her mother divorced him when she was young, so Yuka was all he had. Even though she was gone she made sure to called everyday to make sure the chores were done, and he remembers to wake up in the morning for college. Mayu and Nana were enrolled in middle school and more often than not they walked to Yuka's father's house after school, because it is much shorter a walk than the two mile hike to the Maple Inn, and they liked helping Yuka out with her father. Which left Kouta and Lucy home alone when Kouta wasn't at college.

While Kouta was at college, and the girls where out Lucy felt utterly lonely, and longed for companionship. She had been alone most of her life and hated the felling. When Kouta heard her talk about this he felt a little ashamed knowing she was alone while he was at school, so he had a plan to somehow enroll her in the spring semester. He thought it would be easy, but the thought of the soldiers that were after her plagued his mind. He knew they would track her down and take her away from him, it would be foolish to draw that much attention to her.

Lucy made her way down stairs dressed in her black dress and red and black stockings. Her hair was still wet, and she wore a ribbon in her hair where her horns once were. She walked up and took Kouta's arm and was ready to go. When they were alone Kouta often took Lucy out to eat, do to his lack of cooking ability, but Lucy didn't mind, in fact she loved their one on one time. They walked the streets and Lucy was wrapped around Kouta's arm like a tree snake does it's branch, she wasn't use to being so vulnerable without the strength of the vectors.

... ... ... ... ... ... ...

When they arrived at the restaurant they took a seat in the back, and waited for their waiter. "Sorry about earlier." Kouta said as they sat down. He was answered with Lucy's face saying what are you talking about? "You know... about the incident in your room." Kouta hinted and turned as red as Lucy's eyes, recalling her in that towel.

Lucy finally caught what Kouta was going on about due to the color of his face, and smiled. "Kouta...," She said, "Like I told you before. You are always welcome in my room."

"Yeah, but I feel like I'm barging in on your privacy." Kouta explained. "I would like to make it up to you."

"Kouta you own me nothing. I am forever indebted to you."

"Hey I already told you that I forgave you."

Lucy knew he truly had forgiven her for killing his sister and father many years ago, but she still hadn't done the same for herself. She often awoke in the dead of night screaming from the nightmares of reliving her past deeds, and facing those she killing. She would then make her way into Kouta's room and snuggle up next to him in his bed. Even though she felt like she didn't deserve to share the same bed as Kouta, she felt warm and secure in his arms sleeping next to him. The first time she did this Kouta woke up that morning with Lucy's head buried deep in his chest. Kouta didn't know what to do, so he waited until she woke up. When she did she wasn't expecting him to be up, she was going to sneak back out, and this was going to be a one time incident. All that changed after she explained herself and he told her she was welcome anytime. Since then Kouta finds Lucy next to him about five nights of the week.

As they dinned they made small talk about how their day has been, more like Kouta telling Lucy how school went, and they laughed about Yuka and her strict rules. Kouta then paid out and they were on their way back home when they passed by a group of college students Koutas age, and one reconized him.

... ... ... ... ... ... ...

"Hey Kouta...Hey." One of the students yelled. "Hey Kouta it is me...Eicca from Processor Scott's class." The student yelled.

Kouta turned around and saw a really tall boy about his age with long blond hair, and a piercing in his nose. He was wearing black leather pants, a white T-shirt, and a black leather vest over his shirt. He had on black boots, a black do-rag and every ring on his fingers had some kind of skull on it. Everything he was wearing screamed rocker. Eicca and his group ran over to Kouta and Lucy making her uneasy around a bunch of people she didn't know.

"Hey how's this semester treating you?" Eicca asked in his deep Finish ascent.

"It has been pretty good. How do you like living here?" Kouta asked.

"Oh I love this countery, the food, the tecnology, the women..." Eicca said then he saw Lucy wrapped around Kouta's arm. "Oh you never told your friend Eicca you were seeing someone, or what a beauty this someone is."

"Oh... Where are my manners? Eicca this is Lucy...Lucy this is Eicca. Eicca moved hear from Finland and we go to college together." Kouta explained.

"Nice to meet you my dear, the pleaure is all mine." Eicca said as he bowed to Lucy. Lucy just staired at him for a second not knowing what to think. "Umm... did I do the bowing thing wrong?" Eicca asked a little worried.

"Oh no." Kouta said, "She is just shy."

"Ok... Well it is been nice bumping into you. Hey you should call me and we go and hang out sometime." Eicca said. "You can bring your quiet friend, and we'll go out and have some good times."

"Yeah I'll do that." Kouta said then exchanging phone information. "Well see you later." Kouta said as they walked off.

As soon as they got a good distance away Lucy turned to Kouta and asked "Who is this Eicca guy?"

"Oh Eicca moved here from Finland. We have some of the same classes." Kouta explained. "He make look tuff, but he is really nice."

Yes Eicca seemed nice, but there was something about him Lucy couldn't put her finger on. Other than Kouta Lucy had never heard of a nice human, but since her horns where gone people stopped starring at her. When she went out she wasn't forced to where a hat, and she started to feel like people were excepting her. She couldn't say she hated humans anymore, but she still was cautious of them.

... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Not ten minutes after they got back to the house Kouta's phone rang. He looked at the number and saw it was Yuka. He took a deep breath and answered it.

"Yes I did the dishes... No I wont sleep in tomorrow... Yes I know classes start early... No we already ate... We ate out... Yes again. Do you really trust me in the kitchen?... Yeah I know... Ok I'll tell her... Ok bye." Kouta hung up the phone. "God she thinks she's my mother." Kouta complained.

Lucy went to her room and removed her ribbon from her hair, and started to brush it. Suddenly her eyes widened ten fold when the brush glided past something hard on the top of her head. she then rushed to the bathroom and looked into the mirror. She had two small nubs on the top of her head... her horns, she was so happy to be rid of, where growing back. Lucy then felt sick. "Why now?" She cursed, "Why now, just when I started to fell excepted?" She walked back to her room, and curled onto a ball, and laid on the floor. "Why is it that I'm am destined never to be happy?" She asked herself, and started crying. People no longer stared at her like she was a freak, they treated her as one of their own, and now it is all been taken back. The kindness she received was now stolen from her, and everything would go back to the way it was, people hating her, and criticizing her for how she looked. It wasn't fair! She tried so hard to fit in, for what? Just to be rendered nothing more than a outcast once again. Lucy cried and cried until she felt the urge to puke. She went back to the bathroom and throw up the meal she and Kouta enjoyed so much together.

After Kouta hung up the phone he sat watching some TV when it hit him. At the restaurant he drank five glasses of water, and it was that time to do what water does best to people. Kouta rushed to the bathroom, and on his way he saw Lucy rush to her room looking upset. He then though he should find out what was wrong... after he relieved himself thats is. After his quick trip to the bathroom he walked by Lucy's room. He put his ear to the door and heard to what he suspected to be crying. Kouta then opened the door without any introduction to see his theory be proven right, she was on the floor holding her knees into her chest crying.

Lucy heard the door open and looked up to see Kouta watching her with concern. He walked beside her, sat down and held her as she cried. He held her for what seemed like hours as she just cried into his shoulder. He gently stroked the back of her head telling her that it was going to be ok, until she finally calmed down enough to talk. He stared deep into her crimson eyes, and asked "Hey... what's the matter?"

Lucy took his hand and put it to her forehead where her horns started to re-grow. Kouta felt the two knots on her head, and knew what this was about instantly. "Hey it is going to be ok... I promise. Hey look at me." Kouta said grabbing her chin turning her face to his, "I love you... horns or no horns. They wont change my opinion of you ever. They are apart of you, which makes them beautiful." Lucy's heart skipped a beat as she heard Kouta tell her he loved her, and again when he told her she was beautiful. They hadn't shared a moment like this since that night on the stone stairways. Lucy closed her eyes and kissed Kouta passionately pulling his head closer into hers. Kouta agreeingly kissed her back and, they found their way down onto Lucy's bed kissing and holding one another until they fell asleep. Still in their clothes they sleep over the covers locked in an embrace that radiated their love through out the room.


End file.
